RED 2 (2013)



Frank Moses just can’t seem to catch a break. The retired CIA agent just wants to settle down with his new girlfriend and live a quiet life. However, things aren’t that simple and soon enough, he and his ragtag band of other retired secret agents. Throw in a Cold War nuke and an Asian assasin, and you get “RED 2”.

First Half Review

Going into “Red 2”, I didn’t know what to expect. “Red”, the first one, went over my head. It was one of those “who cares?” movies that had no interest to me. When I saw a sequel was coming out my first reaction was…. “there was a Red 1?” Is this just a clever marketing ploy to get people in who like sequels go see it?

I watched the first 5 minutes of “Red” and it was a paint by the numbers action movie. My friends, who had seen it, thought I HAD seen it, but in all honesty I just guessed the plot of the movie from the few minutes I had seen. Old Guy “Bruce” tears up cheques to keep talking to the call centre girl on the end of the phone. She wants action in her life, something happens and they go on a crazy adventure.

The sequel, again not having seen the first, seems to be more of the same. It’s in the vein of 80’s action movies, high octane fun, lots of people dying, quirky characters, Russians, CIA, MI6. This movie would have been fantastic. If I was still 16.

But there was something about it, something off centre. It seemed diluted, like it had been done before, it probably has in all essence.

Simplistic formula, Bad guys, double crosses, double double crosses, counter crosses, Russians, love story, hapless princess in the wrong castle.

It has a fantastic cast don’t doubt that, and the hamm-iness is top notch from the likes of Hopkins and Cox.

It’s far far better than the train wreck of “Die Hard 5”. But overall, it’s a weak action movie. Like most action movies nowadays, the action is watered down, the swearing non existent, fake blood seems to cost more than printer ink, either that or “The Walking Dead” or “Game of Thrones” have bought out Hollywood’s stockpiles.

If there’s nothing else on, watch it you won’t be disappointed but you won’t be blown away. You’ll get a chuckle or two. You’ll lose yourself for 2 hours but in 2 weeks time, you won’t remember it.

Second Half Review

The perks of having a card that allows you to see however many movies you want in a month, for a low price, are obvious. You get to see all the new releases and never feel guilty about the amount of money you spend in the cinema. The pitfalls of such a  card are not as obvious. Once all the big movies have been watched, you are left with… less than desirable movies. Of course, I could just not go to the cinema, but where’s the fun in that?

“RED 2”, unfortunately, was one of these movies. I had seen the trailers and such, but wasn’t overly pushed about seeing it. Our regular cinema buddies had seen the first movie, and wanted to see this one, so that’s how we ended up seeing it.

I should preface this review with “It’s not a bad movie”. But it’s lazy. It relies too heavily on the over-used “action” tropes. The switch, the Cold War, the retired agents, the implied “I’m too old for this shit” in EVERY scene. There was nothing new. Nothing outstanding. Just meh. Utter meh.

I’ve seen this movie probably not more than 2 weeks ago, but I am struggling to remember the plot. I did enjoy seeing Helen Mirren in something other than dramatic roles. She is an ass kicking MI6 agent, who doesn’t take no guff from nobody.

I hope that there won’t be another RED movie. It’s almost embarrassing at this stage.

First Half Review TL: DR – Still better than Die Hard 5

Second Half Review TL: DR – Kinda intrigued to see if there is Victoria/ Han Cho Bai fanfiction..


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